It might be International Women’s Day today, but don’t wish me a happy one. I won’t be happy until we don’t need a day to recognize women because we should be doing it every damn day. Last week’s rant burned through most of I’d planned on blogging about today, but here are a few additional bullet points I missed.
Emotional labor is labor.
“Behind every great man is a great woman” might be an antiquated saying, but the truth behind it remains. Think of the things you’ve struggled to achieve. Think of the people who supported you in that struggle. The people who listened to you vent, who told you could do it, who never stopped believing in you.
Chances are, most of them were women. We’re conditioned to be nurturers, after all. Too bad nurturing doesn’t pay.
Now, I’m not saying you should Venmo me (or any of the other ladies in your life) every time you cry on my shoulder or ask for advice. Just buy me a coffee or a beer sometime, huh? Recognize that our emotional labor is still fucking work and show your gratitude whenever you can.
Calling out bullshit is hard. Do it anyway.
If you’re a man, especially a straight cis white one, chances are that the world is interested in what you have to say. As a straight cis white woman, I’m just one degree of separation away. I can usually get attention when I climb on my soapbox and scream loud enough.
But the further you get from that, the harder it is to make your voice heard. So help us out, my dudes. If you see a woman being ignored or talked over, draw attention back to her. Agree with her. Support her. As much as it sucks, the world will listen to us more if you tell them to.
When you see shitty behavior, call it out. Whether it’s as minor as “Girls can’t catch my passes” to bullshit like “She was asking for it” and beyond, the people (I’ve heard this from more than just men) saying aren’t likely to take a woman seriously when we call it out. The internalized misogyny is already there.
Never be satisfied.
Already doing those things? Great. Don’t stop. Keep going. Don’t forget that it’s not just straight cis white women who are living in a world that doesn’t recognize our worth. I’m trying to be better at piping up for my friends across the gender spectrum. I want to magnify the voices of the femmes of every color out there that don’t get a pass for being a white girl like I do.
We may never live in a world where we don’t need International Women’s Day. But that’s no excuse to be satisfied with the status quo.