Theme parks and gluttony are two of my favorite things, and I got to indulge in both last month. Is this way too late to be relevant because it’s Thanksgiving tomorrow and Disneyland has already moved on to Christmas theming? Sure. But Lucinda got such hilarious shots of us (mostly me) eating that it seemed a shame not to use them.
All desserts were rated on a scale of 🎃 (horrifying and hurl-worthy) to 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 (scarily scrumptious).
Candy Corn Churro, Frontierland
You either love candy corn or hate it. There is no in between. I can’t stand the stuff, but candy corn churros were at the churro cart in Frontierland, so it had to be done. The churro itself wasn’t the issue; in fact, it was very prettily covered in orange and yellow sugar.
No, the problem was the dipping sauce. It was candy corn flavored, whatever that means. (Nothing. It means nothing. Candy corn tastes like diabetic nothing. Fight me.) Jimmy, a candy corn loving freak, was far more excited about this than me.
This slideshow showcases the face of a woman who has tasted pure diabeetus. But hey, at least I had a very eager boyfriend willing to take this thing off my hands.
Pumpkin Spice Beignets, New Orleans Square
We started our themed dessert journey on the wrong foot, but a visit to New Orleans Square set things straight. I’m already a fan of the regular Mickey beignets, so I knew these would be right up my alley.
Pumpkin spice can be pretty overwhelming sometimes, but these weren’t aggressively overspiced at all. I took one bite of an ear and it was instant happiness.
Diabetes Pudding, Tomorrowland
Is this the real name of what I ate? No. But, like the oh so on top of her shit blogger that I am, I forgot to get the name of this monstrosity that Arthur grabbed for me (because he is a troll!) while we were getting lunch at Pizza Planet. I doubt it has a name anyway.
By the fourth photo, you can catch me trying to stop myself. But no, I don’t turn down free dessert, even if it takes a bit of elbow grease to actually dig into it. In the sixth image, you can see the instant sugar hit. How I avoided a diabetic coma, I will never know.
This was supposedly chocolate and orange flavored, but it was so artificial that I couldn’t tell. One bite was one bite too many.
Maleficent Churro, Fantasyland
The Mistress of all Evil is my favorite Disney villain, hands down. So these churros, located at the cart by Sleeping Beauty Castle, had a lot to live up to. These churros were dipped in purple and green sugar and crushed Oreos to make them look like Maleficent.
This churro also came with a marshmallow dipping sauce, which didn’t add too much but was far better than it’ds candy corn cousin. (But more on that sauce in a minute.)
As happy as I look in these photos, it’s more the delirium of being in the park for 6+ hours than anything else. It didn’t taste particularly like Oreo, probably because the cookies had been pulverized to bits too small to taste.
But these churros were truly evil. Why? They were the only ones in the park that charged extra for dipping sauce.
Pumpkin Spice Churro, Cars Land
Another day, another pumpkin spice dessert. These churros came with cream cheese, far and away the best dipping sauce of the weekend because it actually tasted like more than just liquified sugar.
However, because it was cream cheese, the dipping sauce was thicker and harder to get on my churro. I nearly dropped my first bite, but I made a quick save and was rewarded with the best churro + sipping sauce combo of the weekend.
Bat-shaped Whoopie Pie, Hollywoodland
While there was a whole list of Halloweentime food we consulted before the trip, the @DisneylandToday Twitter account is a good resource for things only available for a day or two. Case in point: this whoopie pie with espresso ice cream.
Flap your wings in delight as you sink your fangs into the coldest treat in Hollywood Land! The Bat-shaped Whoopie Pie is only at Schmoozies!—Get it now! 🦇🦇🦇 pic.twitter.com/uPd4aQKDF2
— Disneyland Today (@DisneylandToday) October 12, 2018
Even though it was a cool, wet day, I had a dessert quest to fulfill. I prefer my coffee cold (#icedcoffeebestcoffee) better, anyway. It wakes me up more.
Is this a journey of me suffering through instant brain freeze in pursuit of blog content? Yes. But is it also a delightful episode of Jimmy being his delightfully weird self? Also yes.
As pretty as the whoopie pie was, it was too soft to hold together the ice cream for long, and the bat decal on top was a bit too crunchy to bite through easily. Definitely glad I got it but not something I’d be eager to repeat.
Monster PB&J Donut, Hollywoodland
We stayed at Schmoozie’s for the last dessert of a weekend, a massive croissant donut stuffed with peanut butter and jelly. It was too big for me on an empty stomach — and my stomach hadn’t been anything resembling empty for days. Instead, it became a joint effort between me and Arthur (with another guest appearance from Jimmy..
It took a little digging to get to the tasty PB&J middle, but once you got a bite that had a little bit of everything, it was great. Definitely glad we split this one, though. Otherwise, I would have hurled on every ride for the rest of the day.
Does Disneyland make these holiday treats so that millennials like me can post them on the ‘gram? Oh, absolutely. While there were a handful of things that looked far better than they tasted, some things — mostly the pumpkin spice stuff — were genuinely good on their own. I’m even craving a PB&J now.
That’s as good a place to leave this as any. The next #BarcelosEats post on my plate? Rating all the donuts I ate in Portland.