Today is the first day of spring, but these tropical flavors are whispering of summer. If you’re not caught up, check out the berry and citrus corners of the bracket before continuing on to today’s bubble water battle.
Four tentatively tropical sparklers enter the ring today, but only one will make it to the Final Four.
Coconut LaCroix vs. Dasani Pineapple
I haven’t had Coconut LaCroix since my first bubble water ranking. At the time, I said that it tasted the way sunscreen smells.
It’s been almost a year since then and I need to accept that guzzling fizzy water all this time has messed with my palate. I do think it tastes like coconut now, though it still has a stronger smell than taste.
Of all the sparkling waters I’ve tried, it pairs the best with the thing I drink almost as much as bubbles: coffee.
LaCroix doesn’t have a solo pineapple flavor (just a combo with strawberry that I haven’t tried), but Dasani does and it is excellent. It has all the sparkly bubbliness I’ve come to expect from that brand, and it manages to convince me that it’s sweet like a pineapple, too. It relies all on taste and not on smell, so it wins this round.
Winner: Dasani Pineapple
Passion Fruit LaCroix vs. Mango LaCroix
Passion Fruit LaCroix came in dead last in my last ranking, but I needed to populate the tropical corner of the bracket, so I brought it back into our fridge’s rotation. You’ll be shocked to learn that, like its coconut counterpart, I like this so much more now that I’ve forever dulled my taste buds. It still has that floral character that I called perfume last time around, but that’s an aspect of the passion fruit itself. It’s sweet and tart and floral and I could only pick up the floral flavor before.
I don’t like mango things all that much, so I expected this to lose. What can I say? I love passion fruit and I wanted to give the bubble water version a chance to redeem itself.
However, the more I drank this… the less I could tell the difference between this and the passion fruit? They both have that floral aspect and I have a theory about why. Most LaCroix is labeled as “natural INSERT FLAVOR HERE flavored,” like this berry one. Tangerine and Key Lime are called “naturally essenced,” and I’ve found them to be sweeter than the usual LaCroix.
But Mango and Passion Fruit have more of a floral aspect and are labeled as “natural INSERT FLAVOR HERE essenced.” The wording is slightly different from the rest, and so is the flavor. Am I on to something?! I’d put on a tinfoil hat but it might be better to make one out of the aluminum cans piling up in my apartment.
Anyway, enough fizzy conspiracy theories. Passion Fruit wins for being a favorite flavor in general, and for having my favorite color scheme on a LaCroix can.
Winner: Passion Fruit LaCroix
Dasani Pineapple vs. Passion Fruit LaCroix
Well, this is a very Azorean final, which should surprise absolutely no one that knows me. (Fun fact: the Azores are the only place in Europe where pineapples can grow.) As much as I love all things maracuja, Dasani does a far better job of representing pineapple than LaCroix does passion fruit. In spite of the odds, it leaves three LaCroix flavors behind to take its place in the Final Four.
Tomorrow we take on the last corner of the bracket. One flavor of bubble water supposedly tastes like nothing. What happens when you put two flavors in one can? Find out on Thursday!