Liz’s Hot Takes: GlossiWEAR

The way I fangirl for Glossier is pretty well known among my friends. It speaks to the Basic Bitchcelos at the heart of my being. I’ve blogged about them quite a bit, I’ve gotten some of my friends into the brand, and I even planned a trip to the Seattle store into me and my fiancé’s anniversary trip/summer vacation. (I’m still kicking myself for missing the Chicago store by mere days, too.)

But I am not a blind stan. Glossier Play was a bit of a bust for me, and while I eventually picked up something from the line, it wasn’t something I bought on launch day like Lash Slick or the two newest Cloud Paints.

However, Play couldn’t prepare me for how underwhelming their latest launch, GlossiWEAR, would be. I woke up early not to miss it — though I am also still stuck on East Coast time so it wasn’t a huge sacrifice — only to be disappointed the more I looked.

Anyway, here are my hits (a few), misses (many) and suggestions.

GlossiWEAR: a quick review

90s hair accessories are back with a vengeance — I’m rocking a scrunchie with butterflies on it today — and this floral claw clip jumped out at me. The floral version pictured here is something I’d buy, and they have a pink and black version that’s very on brand for Glossier.

Not so on brand is their bright yellow duffel bag. From what I heard, it was from Camp Glossier and there was some serious demand for it.

However, bright yellow and black is not a color scheme I associate with the brand? Even Invisible Shield sunscreem, which does have yellow packaging, comes in a pink box.

I’m in the market for a new gym bag, and I even considered this one for a moment and put it in my cart — but I couldn’t pull the trigger. Something floral or Glossier pink would have been better.

As for these slide sandals… oof. This is some hypebeast stuff, which I suppose fits this whole limited edition launch thing? However, they just don’t feel very Glossier to me. I’m going to call this product another off brand miss.

The comb is adorable, much more on brand, and another thing that I strongly considered purchasing. Not enough to make a solo purchase, but definitely the sort of thing you add to get free shipping.

Scrolling further led me deeper into disappointment. The hair clips were something I was expecting. A few days ago, a pair of pink clips were advertised as a gift with a $50 purchase, which I scoffed at. They’re very much in the vein of the 90s hair trend I mentioned earlier, but not appealing enough for me to drop fifty bucks to get them considering I just spent a bunch of money in Seattle.

As a $12 stand alone purchase, I don’t hate them. The iconic Glossier pink works well with the blue and… white? Lavender? I can’t quite tell. Either way, not something for me, but something that makes sense.

These other three pieces threw me for a bit of a loop. At first I thought they had sold out, but then I heard they’re not releasing them until September? Confusing.

Anyway, the pieces themselves are reasonably priced (compare them to Glossier original’s sweatshirt, which is on my wishlist for this year’s Black Friday sale) and very much on brand.

The hoodie isn’t for me, but it’s their iconic color. The cap is minimal and cute. The long sleeve shirt in blue with Glossier’s little three-eyed smiley doesn’t seem out of place among the soft tones I’ve come to expect.

But again: they’re not launching until September.

What I would have done instead

Far be it for me to tell Emily Weiss what to do, but here I am doing it anyway.

I think the biggest misstep of this launch is how off-brand it is. Not just aesthetically (though that yellow gym bag really bugs me) but also at the core of what people have come to expect from the brand.

Give the people what they want

I lurk in the Glossier subreddit pretty regularly and the usual requests are familiar to me. Bring back the headband and the G pin and my fellow stans will go wild. Make the Glossier You candle (it’s not clothes but neither is a duffle bag) that got teased once upon a time.

While I understand that it’s important to expand your customer base, so much of Glossier’s brand is built on their customer service. Listening to their hardcore fans and giving them what they want (like a bronzer? not my thing but I hear about it all the time) would cement that reputation.

What I want to wear

Okay, enough regurgitating other people’s ideas. Have some Original Content.

I picked up the Glossier water bottle from Seattle because I loved the floral G motif. The tote bag version was even more lush.

I loved everything about the aesthetic of that shop. But what would I have loved even more? A t-shirt. Picture it: a pocket tee in Glossier pink or a soft green with that floral G logo on it. Perfection.

Let’s take that pop-up shop theme even further. Everyone seemed to lose their mind over the Miami keychain. Take that logo and put that on a tropically colored pocket tee, too.

Imagine a whole line of Glossier tees, each inspired by a city where Glossier has/had a shop. I’m hoarding my Glossier SF stickers because I love that beautiful script they used. I’d buy a lavender tee with that purple cursive logo in a heartbeat.

A Glossier LA sweater with the gradient of the canyon they built in the back? Get in my cart, damnit.

The more I think about that gym bag, the more I see a missed opportunity. I think switching up the coloring would make for a simple fix. A pink tote with white trim and a red zip pull would have been an adorable and very on brand take on their bubblewrap pouches.

As a reminder, this post isn’t sponsored, but I do have a link that gives me $10 in store credit it if you use it and 10% off your first order. Whether you’re are picking something up from this launch or you’re as underwhelmed as I am, let me know!

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