Gold Bar Lockdown: Week 3

I’m tweaking my posting schedule for these weekly updates, so this one’s going to be a bit shorter than usual. I’ll be posting on Monday mornings instead of Tuesdays, so this update only runs through last Sunday.

Day 15: Tuesday, March 31

Jim had today off. I did my makeup for the first time in… weeks? I’ve fallen off from doing that and any skincare for a few days. We went for a walk around the neighborhood since the weather was nice and he hadn’t been outside in the two weeks since we’d been told to stay home.

Speaking of staying home, the county extended our stay at home order until May 3. Won’t be shocked if it gets extended again, but our attempts to bend the curve are working and that’s wonderful news.

Jim did our weekly grocery run while I stayed home and worked on my bubble bracket and played Animal Crossing. Basically, I did my best to make things feel like a bonus weekend day during an otherwise normal week.

Day 16: Wednesday, April 1

I’m not the biggest fan of April Fool’s Day in general. Most people who participate aren’t remotely as funny as they think they are.

I made breakfast tacos today! And then I made a TikTok, about it completing the inevitable cycle of downloading it as a joke (March 6), becoming obsessed (March 8 or so), and finally posting your own content.

@barcelosknows

My first TikTok is dedicated to all the #cooking videos on my for you page, my Portuguese mom, and all infinitely better #breakfasttacos I had Texas.

♬ original sound – barcelosknows

After a relatively productive (there’s that dirty word again) morning of making breakfast, putting on makeup, writing in my bullet journal and checking off my to-do list… I hit a wall. Let’s call it The Big Sad, because that’s what I’ve been calling my depression since I finally started going to therapy for it.

Anyway, I posted another bubble bracket update and then played a lot of Animal Crossing to escape from The Big Sad.

Day 17: Thursday, April 2

I posted my first ever IGTV this morning. I’ve had an Instagram for beauty content for over a year now, but I’ve never posted any video content before. I bought a ring light before things got nuts that will probably come in handy.

I checked in on national news for the first time in about a week, felt The Big Sad come for me again, and spent the rest of day not doing much else.

Day 18: Friday, April 3

Today marks six months until our wedding. While I’ve written about how we’re handling the uncertainty surrounding the wedding here on my blog, I haven’t shared it too widely.

I posted our engagement photos on Facebook and told everyone that while Jim and I are getting married this year, we’re not sure that we can have the big day surrounded by our loved ones that we originally envisioned.

Posting it where all our friends, family, and any gossiping Tias could see it made it too real. I started bawling.

Luckily for me, my fall wedding buddy Jackie sent me a message that morning to check in. Having someone to talk to that in the same boat was comforting. After our chat, I got out of bed and did my best to face the day.

SuperGood Kitchen (along with Paper Plane and Original Gravity, aka where Jim proposed) finally opened up for delivery this weekend, so we decided to order dinner rather than cook for a change. I drove, Jim walked in to pick up our food, and we realized it was the first time we’d driven somewhere together in weeks.

On our way back, we drove past our old place. It’s still crazy to me that this is still the same year we lived in that apartment and downtown wasn’t a ghost town.

Day 19: Saturday, April 4

Since my birthday falls on a weekday this year, this is the weekend we would have been celebrating it. Jim ordered us some savory pastries and pasteis de nata from Pastelaria Adega. I went to go pick them up and swung by Academic for good measure.

Oh, and I posted another TikTok. This is who I am now.

Jim’s cousin Alison’s birthday is today and her family figured out a socially distanced way to celebrate it. They went to a park and we all drove by to wave and wish her a happy birthday. It was surreal, but also wholesome?

Later that day, I had a chat with my boss to solidify something we both knew was inevitable. One of my coworkers and I are officially on unpaid leave. After being uncertain about so much lately, it was a relief to know where I stand on something. I can claim unemployment like everyone else.

My brother got my family together for a video chat that evening not long after Jim talked me into watching Attack of the Clones. (In my defense, I wanted to introduce him to Clone Wars and my girl Ahsoka Tano.) My nieces were in the middle of playing house and tucking their ten babies (read: stuffed animals but has the time for that many children?! in this economy?) into bed for the night. One of them told my sister, with all the wisdom of her motherly experience, that putting babies down for bed was hard.

My sister left the call not long after that to put her own children to bed, but Jim and I stayed on for a little longer to chat with my family. My mom, fueled by the general anxiety I inherited from her and her more specific worries about the coronavirus (my dad is still working and she works for a lot of older folks) went on a crafting binge. She’s already into embroidering, but she added amateur florist to her repertoire. Using some flowers and leaves from her garden, she made a Palm Sunday inspired wreath for their front door.

I went to sleep thinking of Palm Sunday, Star Wars, and how much the world has changed in such a short period of time.

Day 20: Sunday, April 5

Honestly, today didn’t feel too different from a rainy Sunday. Jim slept in until noon while I woke up ridiculously early, messed around on my phone for a bit, and then slept a few more hours before getting up at nine. I had coffee and leftover pasta for breakfast because mealtimes are as arbritary as the rest of time now, marinated in the bath for a bit, and then played some Animal Crossing before Jim woke up.

We had some good couch time in the afternoon, relaxing and watching Food Network and two of my friends trying to work their portable washing machine on Instagram Live. (I am here for all my friends and their niche quarantine content.)

Later on, he hoppedt on the computer that afternoon to play World of Warcraft with his brother (they’ve been doing this social distancing thing since before it was cool), leaving me alone with my thoughts for a bit. Rather than just marinate in them like I did in the bath in the morning, I wrote the first draft of an… let’s call it an essay? Anyway, it’ll be up on Thursday and be about the thoughts I fell asleep to last night.

It’ll all make sense, I swear.

I started making the grocery list for the week, and inspired by my friend Caroline’s Instagram stories where she baked this chocolate stout layer cake from Bon Appetit, I added the ingredient we needed so that I could make it for myself on my birthday this Tuesday.

Or tomorrow, if you’re reading this when it comes out. So ends my last week of being 34.

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