#BarcelosSnows: Snow Cup VII Photos

Indoor lighting + sports photography: 1.
Barcelos: 0.

I still have a lot to learn. Here are some of my faves. Link to the album here.

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Check out these babes I drafted.

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Imagine how much cooler this would be if I could shoot in this bad lighting.

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Caught Kym mid-ponytail bounce.

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Brooms up is always my favorite moment to capture.

#BarcelosSnows: Why I Didn’t Win Snow Cup

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If there was a best jersey prize, we would have won.

Last week when I wrote that I was going to win Snow Cup, it was a win/win proposition for me. Since one of my New Year’s resolutions is to post to my blog twice a week, I was going to have one last piece of #BarcelosSnows content to start the year off at a running start. You learn more from losing than winning, so while a tournament win still eludes me, I’m not hurting for content.

Let’s break down last week’s bold predictions and see just how wrong I was.

Hero ball:

I still stand by this one. If Dan Marovich can get enough of an open lane, he can charge down the field and score faster than you think someone his size could.

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Hero ball worked more often than not. In no game was that more apparent than our last game against Pink, when Dan and #1 overall pick/Team USA’s Stew Driflot exchanged several hero ball goals. When Dan wasn’t in, Nate Western (my first pick) made a few heroic charges of his own.

Non-male player:

I was right about this one, too. The finals featured two of the elite non-male players I mentioned: White’s Alyssa Burton and Red’s Mollie Lensing. The third Team USA beater was my second pick, Sarah Kneiling… who had to drop with about 24 hours notice. An injury at the end of day one saw Abbie Simons make the right choice in not playing on day two because concussions are nothing to mess around with.

That being said, the team stepped up and valiantly filled those gaps. Jake and Sam were absolute savages at beater. Jensen, Katie, Kym, and Abigail dealt with my precarious juggling to maintain the appropriate amount of non-male players on the pitch, but that also meant that other male players had fewer minutes compared to them. Not a single of them complained… even if they had the right to.

Two-day team:

Yeah, I was totally right about this, too. In spite of going 1-2 on day one and 0-2 on day two, we played so much better on the second day. We had all the benefits of a second day’s worth of chemistry and cohesion and none of the New Year’s Eve induced hangover.

Seeking:

This was ultimately our downfall. All of our losses but one were in range, including an overtime loss. (I can’t tell you the last time I won a game in overtime. In fact, I’m pretty sure I never have.) My favorite seeking demon had an uncharacteristically poor performance, but in spite of what I wrote last week, I wasn’t depending on him to carry the weight of the yellow headband alone. I drafted several players for their seeking skills, but ultimately the tail didn’t fall in our favor.

Still waiting for my time:

Would it have been a great narrative for me to finally win a tournament after rage quitting? Oh, absolutely. But I’m clearly not ready to leave this community yet, so I still have time. Every time I’m a GM, I learn a little more about putting together a good team. #50ShadesofShame was no exception. Whether I’ve known them for years or just met them this weekend, whether they had to play ALL THE MINUTES or listened when I had to sub them out, I am proud of each and every one of these players.

Thanks for putting up with my blogging shenanigans; I’m so glad I drafted you all.

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After this picture was taken, we all left to go win Snow Ball.

Final thoughts:

Fantasy quidditch is a crapshoot. The best-laid plans go awry when key players drop. Officiating can be all over the place at unofficial tournaments. There’s a certain amount of luck you need to win a fantasy tournament, and I just didn’t have it this time around.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Excuses, excuses, Barcelos. But thanks for reading them. Comment/tweet/holler at me for my hubris and inability to retire; the Spirit of St. Quidditch knows that I probably deserve it.

#BarcelosSnows: How to Win Snow Ball

While only one team can win Snow Cup, it doesn’t matter because we’re all here for Snow Ball anyway. Here’s the great thing about that: we can all win Snow Ball. Winning Snow Ball, as defined by me in a moment of drunken clarity last year, means hooking up—or getting up to whatever shenanigans you want—without it ending up on Quidsecrets for everyone to gawk and giggle over later. 

As much as I love gossip, being the subject of it is absolutely mortifying. I learned this the hard way my first year at Snow Cup. Now, I want to save other Snow Ball rookies the trouble. 

It’s storytime, kids.

I was still relatively new to quidditch when I went to my first Snow Ball. It wasn’t a good date. He only talked about himself, didn’t ask about me, was weirdly aggressive in a way that mildly drunk me couldn’t talk myself out of. Quite frankly, I just wasn’t into it. Snow Ball date does not equal instant hookup, but my date didn’t seem to realize that. I tried extricating myself from him during the afterparty, but he wasn’t getting the hint.

Should I have just told him to leave me alone? Sure. But I didn’t know how. I felt weirdly intimidated and decided to be evasive instead of firm. However, let me be clear about something. Consent is a clear and enthusiastic yes. Consent can be revoked at any time. I didn’t owe him anything after Snow Ball.

I repeat: Consent is a clear and enthusiastic yes. Consent can be revoked at any time. Nobody owes you anything.

I did such a good job avoiding him that I actually wound up hooking up with someone else that weekend. It was a good time, and something we both were very enthusiastic about.

Fast forward to Monday morning. I’m flying home on a red eye, hungover but otherwise pleased with the weekend. I arrive home, crash, and wake up hours later to urgent Facebook messages from friends. My consent-impaired Snow Ball date shared the story of the slut (because apparently a girl’s a slut if she sleeps with anyone but you) that ditched him in Quidditch Singles, a private quidditch group I’ve never been in.

I was absolutely mortified. I eventually got him to take it down, but I never forgot the burning shame.

Look, we all love gossip. It’s a fault in me because while you can take the girl out of the village, you can’t take the village out of the girl. However, no one likes being the subject of gossip. I’ve had people say nice things about me on Quidsecrets and I wish they could have said it to me personally so I could thank them. I’ve had people drag me on Quidsecrets and I wish they had the guts to say things without hiding behind anonymity. At least my grievances are aired in my own name. I’m (some form of) retired now, so while I expect to never see my name in that garbage fire again, I don’t want anyone to feel the public shame I felt… for something that I now realize wasn’t shameful at all. 

Let’s all have fun this weekend. It can mean anything from consentual after-afterparty hijinks to falling asleep on your friend’s couch because you’re old and can’t hang. Let’s be excellent to each other, have a consentual good time (I keep saying that word because it needs to be said), and not post it to Quidsecrets or whatever after the fact. No one should look back in this weekend with regret.

We can all win Snow Ball, but we can only do it if we work together.

#BarcelosSnows: Why I’m Going to Win Snow Cup

Snow Cup VII logo by Dan Howland
Snow Cup VII logo by Dan Howland

Snow Cup is my favorite quidditch event of the year. Quidditch may still be going through it’s puberty identity crisis (is it a serious sport? a social activity? everyone’s answer is different) but Snow Cup doesn’t have that problem. If you take Snow Cup seriously, you’re doing it wrong. Snow Cup is pure fun.

That being said, winning is fun. I like winning. And if it takes hanging up my cleats and calling myself retired for the Spirit of St. Quidditch to smile upon me and finally give me a tournament win, then so be it.

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Is this a bad time to mention that I liked Swiss?

I’m kicking off my Snow Cup blogging (shoutout to Chris Beesley for coming up with the #BarcelosSnows hashtag!) with some friendly smack talk for clicks and giggles. Will this come back to bite me later this weekend? Maybe, but shame is fleeting and glory is forever. Here’s why I think me and the 50 Shades of Shame are gonna win it all.

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We’re gonna hero ball so hard.

Hero ball may be dead in competitive quidditch, but this is fantasy. You can only strategize so much when you’re putting together a team for just a weekend. Blunt force can get you pretty far, and I have quidditch blunt force incarnate: Dan Marovich. The only player I’ve ever seen tackle Dan when he’s going full steam ahead unfortunately had to drop, so I’m feeling pretty good about his chances to go full Juggernaut on the pitch this weekend.

EEK!

Just don’t get dumb cards and break your teammate’s hand, Dan.

We’re stacked at non-male player.

Okay, maybe someone comes along that can tackle the Mountain That Rides (a Broom). He’s got passing options like Abbie Simons and Jensen Morgan. Alyssa Burton and Mollie Lensing are amazing beaters, but Sarah Kneiling is an OG Team USA beater. She’s also the high prophetess of the Spirit of St. Quidditch, and she wants you all to follow your hearts. When you do, you’ll know this to be true: this is our tournament to win.

My team is a two-day team. 

While I prefer one-day tournaments, Snow Cup is two days. Not only that, but the night between is New Year’s Eve. People go to Snow Cup to party more than they do to play, so the day two aches are inevitably going to be coupled with hangovers.

Enter: The Long Beach Funky Quaffles. This is a team that knows how to party, how to play, and how to do both at the same time. LBFQ’s Joshua Ishizaki, Jake Malloy, and Ryan Park, along with special guests Nate Western and Dan Marovich, are going to be so ready for day two.

My seeker is a goddamn demon.

You’ve probably seen him if you have any familiarity with the NorCal quidditch scene. Red horns on his head, 666 on his back, callous disregard for pain or exhaustion? Forrest Stone was an absolute steal in the 11th round. In a Snow Cup bereft of the presence of Dan Howland, you may think there’s no dominant seeker to be found. I’m looking forward to watching Forrest prove you all wrong.

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Oh, and he’s a pretty good seeker blocker, too.

Have I mentioned that it’s FINALLY MY TIME?!

2015 marked my first two attempts at being a GM: Beachside and West Fantasy. I got swept both times. I was plagued by drops, I spent way too much money on players in an auction draft (which I hate), and I just didn’t know the player pool as well as other GMs.

I learned.

In 2016, I went 2-2 at Snow Cup, including a snitch range loss (I still maintain that we were robbed) to the gray team that wound up in the final. That summer, my teal team took second at Northwest Fantasy. I learned to avoid players that were drop risks. I have no drops going into this tournament. I learned that building a fantasy team isn’t the same as a regular season team.

I’m on an upward trajectory and I’m aiming for the top.